The Dubious Hat

from by Nathaniel Johnstone

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The plane had just landed and we were gathering our stuff to deplane. When I opened up the overhead compartment to retrieve my hat it jumped out, did a handy little flip, and landed right on this guy's head - it seemed to glare at me with SUCH smugness as it did so. And then I had an image of it very messily devouring the poor unfortunate fellow all the way down - from head to toe.

And thus was born The Dubious Hat.


The world has too many hats
Or so I've heard it said
All the shapes and sizes
There's a hat for every head

Happy hats for happy heads
Sun hats for the sun
Hats for when you're working
And ones for when you're done

But the one-too-manyeth hat
Of mystery and dread
Is the awful, terrible, dubious hat
The one that wants your head

It lurks in darkened corners
It hides under your bed
It waits for you to look away
Then it leaps upon your head!

It grips with teeth of felt
And drags you out of doors
It shows you off to everyone
You're helpless as it roars

"I am the dubious hat
this is now my head!
I wear it now forevermore
I'll wear it until it's dead!"

The world has too many hats
Or so I've heard it said
All the shapes and sizes
There's a hat for every head

Happy hats for sad heads
Brave hats for frightened heads
Confident hats for shy heads
And, alas! All too often: the wrong hats for the wrong heads


After all that I have seen and read
And all that has been said
There is no hat in all the world
As the one that's in your head

And if it fits that's great for you
But if it don't here's what to
Find that dubious hat post haste
And give that something new a taste

'Cause that one-too-manyeth hat
Of which much is left unsaid
The not so terrible, dubious hat

Just might be …

One that fits your head


from The Dubious Hat, released September 28, 2019
Lyrics/Music by Nathaniel Johnstone
Nathaniel Johnstone: Vocal, Guitar, Ukulele, Violin


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Nathaniel Johnstone Seattle, Washington

Multi-instrumentalist Nathaniel Johnstone (violin, viola, banjo, mandolin, and guitar) LOVES to play music with his many musical friends. He's played with many bands and has as yet been unable to settle down with one instrument or musical genre for too long.

Each album is different but there are enough through-lines that you can get a sense of where he's been.
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